Running Pandemonium

I truly think I’m in love with him.

     So it’s been like a month since I actually said something.. No clue why it’s been so long. But the main question is where do I even start with everything that’s been happening in my life. Uhhhhmm. So. Yeah. Well guys, I broke yet another guys heart. Yup, you heard me right. Why oh why am I so terrible with relationships/boys…. I make myself so mad at me. Like I tell myself I want a relationship. And I truly think I do. But whenever a guy decides they want a relationship with me, I freak the fuck out. But the past 3 days I’ve been hanging out with a guy that I think I truly, truly, actually like. He makes me laugh, he’s adorable, we just get along.. And most importantly, sitting in silence with him (sober) isn’t awkward. I really want something to happen with him. We’ll see where that stands a week from now. Hopefully my mind won’t fuck me over this time. Also… Guy #3 whose heart I broke over the summer, who I chose my ex over, who has always been there.. Remember him? Yeah well he’s starting to be all flirty with me again. Goddammit. I just want to be friends. Alsoooo… I have decided that the stoner attitude towards life is the way to go. The more you go with the flow, the better everything is. I mean it. Life has been pretty good to me lately, fingers crossed that everything keeps going up.